Sometimes life changes in a moment. All our efforts at planning, preparation, and control seem an illusion, a comical and childish idea. A sand castle built close to the water; or a toddler’s fistful of sand thrown back in the ocean. Sometimes the unexpected windfall so alters our feeble and humble ideas, so overwhelms our senses and understanding, that we laugh when faced with our new reality. Or we cry with our hands over our mouths. Our fingers try to hold in the shock and the joy and the wonder. Our bodies bend over with the power of it, knocked down and pushed forward with the wave of it. For our physical forms are no match for their oceanic strength and direction. We arrive on our beach with a smile of acceptance and see that our new reality is a joy beyond naming. Better than we could have chosen for ourselves. Better than we could have imagined for our own lives. All the cautions and questions and choices that seemed so important before are irrelevant now. This is where we are. This is who we will be. This is how life is. My joy, my wonder, my windfall was born June 23rd at 7:13 a.m. A tiny baby girl 6 pounds and 7 ounces, 20 inches long. She is pink and perfect and sweet and beautiful. I am overcome by wonder and happiness and instinct. I am now a mama. My little surprise baby girl is Winnie June Quah. My heart is full, and my mind is reeling. And I am just trying to figure out today. Before I sit down to build a new castle, I am scooting back a little from the shore and loving today, admiring the truth that beyond all this worry, behind all that makes my every day, is only love. Only joy. Only life. I am overwhelmed by gratitude for the smiles and exclamations of joy by my family and friends. The heartfelt and sincere happiness that others have expressed has increased my own. And for all the offers of help, and baby things, and food, I am so thankful. I know that everyone who knows and loves me will have lots of questions; I don’t know the answers yet. I know also that you will want to help. I accept. I need it, and I appreciate everything more than I can express. Welcome to the world, my girl.

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A post shared by Lizzie Quah (@lizzie_quaah) on Jul 8, 2019 at 12:55pm PDT